So recently I told one of my band members I want out, and at first, he was cool with it, but the more he thought, the more he became 'uncool' about it, so he sent me a message requesting me to reconsider my decision. I don't know why, but I think I replied him an essay telling him what my reasons (note: not excuses) were. It revolved around:
1) Having a vocalist who cannot deliver
2) Having a band who prefers playing originals to covers
And finally, I left him a question:
"Are you a performer or a musician?"
I see myself as a performer, and my role is to entertain people with my music. I'm not a musician because firstly, I'm not a good one. Secondly, and more importantly, I don't just play musical instruments. More than just to tell people that I can play music, I want people to enjoy the music I play.
So yeah, after the question, I hit the 'SEND' button. Now, I'll just have to wait and see.
A question to you all - Am I harsh?
Today, I stumbled upon a Facebook trubute page to a softball coach who passed away recently, and I'm filled with emotions when I read the comments on the tribute page. That was when I recalled my JC days when my teacher asked us to think about what we want people to say about us when we pass away. I think I wrote, "A bright mind, a lame nut" or something like that. Haha, silly JC days.
So I was just thinking, are there anyone whom I would say kind words to when they pass away, and the first person who came into my mind was Mr Chew, my band instructor in secondary school. He gave me hell, literally, as a musician, and as the band major. At the end of the day, all those sarcastic comments and scoldings made me into the musician I am today. Still, I feel that the hell I got was too much for a teenager. At the end of the day, I guess I have to thank him for recognising and developing my abilities (can I say talent?).
Flashbacks of my past came to mind while I was having a poop, and subsequently, a nice, warm shower (too much detail, but I LIKE DETAILS!).
Remembered the day in primary school when I went on stage to receive the scholarship award for performing damn well in my studies (okay, I exaggerate) and the day I got selected to become Prefect. Also, in secondary school, when the band committee decided to nominate me to be the next Band Major for the band, and then to the time in PJ when I was at the band committee interview and was offered to be Band President, of which I declined and told them not to choose me because, quoting that fateful day, "Don't choose me, I'm a slacker!". Yes, I said that in my interview, very much to my teacher-in-charge's amusement.
I seriously wonder how these things happened to me, and I'm pretty sure you guys can't possibly imagine me as one of those role models/leaders in the school, knowing how passive and nonchalant I really am. Thinking back, I guess I was really quite 'decorated' in school, maybe that explains why people know me when I don't know them. I'm very sorry.
Looking at my past achievements in school, (more co-curricular than academic, sad to say), doesn't this then make sense why I am going to become a teacher in future? My character aside (maybe including), I think somehow God prepared all these for me, and despite my inadequacies, made all these work for me.
I am but an average Joe, blessed by God, from end to end.
I thank You for all You've done.
Piece by piece, the family breaks apart.
A long process, gradual but almost definite.
One party shouts, claiming to listen.
The other, knowing the futility, clams up.
'Communication' is but a five-syllable word.
Devoid of meaning, devoid of action.
Nothing remains of the Serangoon days.
Pieces of this and that, falling away,
Nothing works like a broken home
A vicious cycle
All but too many times
Caught in the middle
Shouted at to transmit indirect messages
All but too many times
Threats of leaving
All but too many times.
All but too many times.
In a blink of an eye, another month has past, and yet, our love has never been sweeter. Despite people telling me that seeing your other half every day isn't healthy in a relationship, it's really quite the contrary, and I'm lovin' every moment of it.
I love you, babe (and your Toothless too).
Can you believe it? Sinee and I have been together for so long and we've never been mad at each other. I was showering when I thought how understanding my starfish has been. She's a true gem, in all sense of the word, and me, I'm the luckiest man around.
As droplets form and trickle down the glass panel beside me, I thought to myself, "What in the mad, mad world am I doing in the school library on such a beautiful morning?". The hypnotic swaying of trees, the gentle, steady, rhythmic tapping of rain droplets, all of Nature's little wonders, spell silent serenity, and yet, seperated by the transparent man-made barrier, I lay trapped here, Silent too, but a certain Disunity looms over the Claustraphobic air of academia.
The rain just got heavier.
Yes, it's been long, but I'm back.
Just survived my killer week last week - Literature essay, literature presentation and English project. And through it all, after having survived the week, all I got was a pair of panda eyes that lasted for a day (okay, maybe and a sense of lethargy as well), but after pamper-myself Saturday, it's all good, I think.
So I heard that there's another essay due on the 5th of April, which means that another killer week is approaching. Why? Because I have my Shakuhachi practical examination on that day too, and apparently, another English project is due that week (though I'm not too sure when exactly). So yeah, I guess I shouldn't be procrastinating like the previous week and torture my body again. As much as I think that sleep is a waste of time, I still enjoying lazing on the bed (with nothing to do, haha).
Now, let's talk about music.
I've been with Aries Kaizer for almost two years now, and yeah, it's progressing very slowly. We've currently arranging two new songs, and for a change, it's my turn to be busy, apparently. Also, I've somehow made a promise with my drummer to be part of another band that concentrates on playing covers. You know what, that's not all! I still have a side project with two other peers playing acoustic stuff. That just means that I have, essentially, 3 very different band set-ups:
1) An originals band
2) A cover band
3) An acoustic trio
Now, I just hope that I don't have too much to swallow, but 3 bands does sound like quite a bit of commitment to me. My priorities have always been my starfish, so if it's going to compromise my time with her, then I'll probably choose one or two to let go of. Yes, she's that important to me. ;)
Alright then, that's that for the... erm... once-in-a-while update! Take care and God bless!
Jocelyn recently joked that people might find it stressful to work with me because I always do my work at the last minute (okay, like maybe one day before deadline?). I understand how difficult it is to work when you're pressed for time, but it is also this last-minute thing that motivates me to do my work. Maybe it's the ability learnt from being an excellent procrastinator from young (Actually, I think I was brought up this way :/ ).
Then again, I know people who are just like me (Jocelyn, for one, is a good example, haha)
Let's hope my peers from 203 won't find it that taxing. We're on the right track. Just push on a little more!
I suddenly remember my primary school days when I used to take up all the workload by myself for group projects because I was afraid others would screw it up.
Haha, okay, I'm laughing it off.