I'm quite sure no one reads this any more, since I've been idle for like, I don't know, very long? I've been so busy with non-academic-related school activities and really left the music part of me for dead. Now I feel like I should turn back and be musical again. not that floorball and softball are no fun or anything.
That said, softball. I've been playing softball since I entered university. Never a sporty person, I just thought that I should challenge myself by doing something different. Well, I did it, and I even have a number-assigned school jersey to prove it. That said, I was never good at it, at least not as good as I was a musician in school. Did I enjoy it? Well, while it lasted I guess. Of late, it's been more like a mundane routine to head for training every Thursday evening. The structure's gone, most of the people are gone. It's really like a dying club, to be honest with you. Yet I'm still there, as a member, as a player, as a friend.
Then there's floorball, an entirely different sport. Super intense, extremely fast-paced. Now this is one fun sport. Well, floorball was actually my first choice, but they never called me up. Maybe I wasn't good enough then, maybe I wasn't proactive enough to approach them either. Anyways, I started playing floorball last semester (I nearly said that I started playing floorball 'again' - that would have sounded really weird, but anyways.) It is really fun! An entirely different sport that focuses a lot on fitness, rather than technique. So, I was invited to join Blizzards, their club team, and I'm in the midst of trials. I'm in it for the fun, but the trials are making people very edgy, like they're pressured to perform, to outdo one another. I repeat, I'm in it for the fun.
Busking auditions next week. Have yet to prepare and practice. Will be getting down to it as soon as possible. Can't wait to start busking in public. I guess another reason why I have stopped making music is because I left my rock band, and also because there aren't any really nice songs lately. I guess I should start digging Youtube for potential covers to do. Any suggestions? Would love to hear from the people who are reading this, not that I'm expecting replies, haha.
So yeah, a glimpse into my four weeks of school.
Scavenging around for my sense of calm
Hoping that somewhere out there, is the missing piece
Do I really know what exactly I want
'cos I realised what I got was momentary peace
I've trod down this road, far too often
Guided by a map, make-believed
Yet, my peace is stirred, every now and then
When I find myself ill at ease
The unsettledness that still lingers
Like a growing black mark, sore to the eyes
But it isn't just something metaphorical
When you still have unfulfilled desires
So what do I do, when I find no answers
No hints, no clues, nor a fart or whisper
Do I drop everything I've built till today
Or wait for God to show me the way
Week three 'cos, technically, recess week was week one.
Once again, I have this insatiable desire to play music, and my current band does not look like it's going to satisfy me. Yes, we've finally got a new vocalist, and yes, he's pretty good (speaking of which, I should probably send him a copy of our new song. Gimme a sec.)
Where was I? Oh yes, the new vocalist. In case you didn't know, we haven't released the ex-vocalist. Weird, isn't it? I'm fighting a one-man battle to like get him off. In fact, I've been so pushy with changes I'm starting to think that the band guys should be starting to think that I'm difficult to work with. Frankly, the band's goals do not directly coincide with mine. They want to make have our songs on radio, and hopefully get a label. I'm not that ambitious. I just want to secure a small place to play my music and get paid for it. Well, if we do get recognised, that'd be nice, but seriously, who am I kidding? We're in little snotty Singapore.
I want to play covers that the crowds can relate to, not play originals that no one listens to. That said, playing an original every once in a while is a nice thought, but I don't want to bore my audience.
I've been thinking lately if I'm in the right band, and that if I should start looking elsewhere, somewhere else that I can truly find my music haven.
Maybe I'll get to play things I really like.
Maybe I won't feel like the villain who's so hard to please.
Maybe I want out.
So yeah, hurray, my long weekend starts today. Right.
School has been fine, seeing all the peers again after so long. The usual gossips and, I don't know, group forming and presentation wars? One thing struck me though, it's only the first week and the library is filled. No, it's not because of the new people (they are only a miserable 200+ this year, by the way). I saw people flipping books and studying. I was like, "What?! Already??".
Skipped training yesterday because of the rain. I dislike muddy fields. It's the OCD getting to me.
Haven't heard anything from the band. They've been busy with Raya. Let's hope we get on to business soon. Speaking of which, I'm intending to take up keyboard lessons. Let's hope I don't give up halfway this time.
Life, is currently a walk on tight rope.
Maybe you don't want to read this.
I've been in Aries Kaizer for two years, and I'm growing tired. I'm not tired playing music. It's more like I'm tired of being accommodating. That said, it's also not like I've been fully compromising. I've made many changes to the band. From switching from J-rock to playing English songs, to changing the vocalist, who is a dear friend of theirs. I feel like quite the revolutionary.
The thing is, right now, I'm feeling pretty conflicted. As the latest and youngest member of the band, maybe I shouldn't have pushed for change, one after another. Yet, something in me is telling me to push for another change. I think I'm being too much, but if I don't suggest for change, I don't think I'll be happy with what's happening.
Ugh, I don't think I'm even making sense here.
I don't like change, but if change is necessary, then change has to take place.
Argh, forget it. I shall type no more.
My supervisor sent me this,
that is great stuff :-)
honestly. your tone and scope are spot on.
Absolutely made my night. :) Phew.
You know love? I really love the nitty-critty things that you do for me, be it putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, cooking noodles for me, or even picking lint from my shirt. I really feel very blessed when you care for me like that. It makes me feel very loved.
Sometimes, it's not the significant things you do that gets you noticed. Instead, it's the little, barely noticeable things that really shows your character, and for that baby, I thank you for being such an essential part of my life. Nothing beats having you by my side. :)
I love you, so, so much.
It's an amazing feeling to behold as I watched the World Cup with Sinee and my IRAS friends, in a kopitiam, in the middle of Orchard Road. The company was great - guy and girl friends hanging out together to catch a game of soccer, and the atmosphere was no less fantastic. Somehow, it didn't feel like the 'atas' Orchard Road that I know. A sense of displacement slowly took over me. It's like finding a heartland in the middle of our metropolitan centre. Pretty unreal, if you know what I mean.
I was in awe.
I can't sleep. Feels as though I'm weighed down by a lot of things, and I don't know how to cope with it. What makes matters worse is the dreadful weather.
That said I hope it won't rain during the matches.